Tag: clarify values

Understanding Your Shadow Values

Understanding Your Understanding Your Shadow ValuesShadow Values – Illuminating the Depths

In the pursuit of self-discovery, Understanding Your Shadow Values is a key. We often come across the concept of ‘values.’ These are the guiding principles that shape our behavior and decisions in life. Most of us can readily identify our primary values, such as honesty, integrity, and kindness. However, lurking beneath these overt values is a lesser-known concept that is equally influential in our lives: Shadow Values.

What are Shadow Values?

Shadow Values are those values that we subconsciously prioritize, often without our explicit acknowledgment. They are the hidden forces that influence our actions and reactions, sitting in the darker recesses of our psyche. Unlike our expressed values, which we proudly display and uphold, shadow values can sometimes be those we are not overtly proud of or are in conflict with our ideal self-image.

Why are Understanding Shadow Values Important?

Shadow Values are a critical piece of our psychological puzzle. They can drive us to behave in ways that might seem out of character or contradict our declared values. For example, someone might profess a value of generosity but find themselves acting stingily in certain situations. Here, a shadow value of security or control might be at play, driving them to conserve resources.

Understanding our shadow values is vital for a few reasons:

  1. Authenticity: Recognizing these values helps us to be more honest with ourselves and others.
  2. Congruence: It creates a more profound sense of congruence in our lives when our actions align with both our conscious and unconscious values.
  3. Personal Growth: By acknowledging and integrating our shadow values, we can address internal conflicts and move towards a more holistic self.

Identifying Your Shadow Values

Identifying shadow values is not straightforward, as they often manifest indirectly. They can be uncovered by examining patterns in our behavior, especially those that cause discomfort or regret. Reflecting on moments when we’ve felt justified in behavior that others have questioned can also reveal them.

Another way to spot shadow values is through our emotional reactions. Strong emotional charges, like envy or disdain, can point to a shadow value at play. For instance, feeling envious of someone’s success might point to an unrecognized value of achievement or recognition.

Integrating Shadow Values

The process of integrating shadow values involves acknowledging their presence and understanding their function. Here are some steps to work through:

  1. Acceptance: Accept that you have shadow values, just like everyone else. This is not a failure of character, but a part of being human.
  2. Mindfulness: Pay attention to when these shadow values are influencing your behavior. What triggers them? How do they make you feel?
  3. Exploration: Explore the origins of these values. Often, they are rooted in past experiences or modeled behavior from influential figures in our lives.
  4. Reconciliation: Find ways to reconcile your shadow values with your conscious values. Can they be aligned or balanced in some way?

Living with Your Shadow Values

Living with your shadow values does not mean giving them free reign but rather incorporating them into your life in a healthy and balanced way. It’s about recognizing that sometimes what we devalue or hide is also what we need to examine to understand ourselves fully.

For example, if a shadow value of control is undermining your relationships, acknowledging it can help you understand your need for security. You can then work on finding ways to meet your need for security without compromising on your value of trust or freedom.


Shadow values are a powerful yet often neglected aspect of our inner world. By bringing them into the light, we can gain a more nuanced understanding of our motives and behaviors, leading to greater self-awareness and life harmony. Remember, your shadow values are not your enemies; they are silent messengers, whispering truths about you that, once heard, can guide you towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.

See also https://www.excelink.com.au/shadow-values/

You can get the Clarity & Results you want Book a time here – https://calendly.com/richardoneill